Women's Divorce Blog

06 May 2019

  • Do You Need Separate Birthday Parties?
    Celebrating your child's birthday after divorce can be a tricky situation. These tips can help.
  • Divorcing a Narcissist
    Getting divorced is tough no matter what, but be prepared for a battle if your spouse has narcissistic tendencies.
  • Best Way to Sell an Engagement Ring after Divorce
    After a bad marriage and a bad divorce, many women are ready to get rid of this symbol of eternal love. These tips can help turn your bridal bling into money.
  • Allow Yourself to Heal
    Denying the emotional pain of divorce by trying to avoid it or push it away can actually extend the time it takes to heal. Instead, allow yourself time to work through the grieving process.
  • 9 Ways to Make Visitation after Divorce Easier
    Newly divorced parents have a lot of adjustments to make, but ultimately they want to ease the pain for their children. Here are some tips to help take the sting out of visitation.

Life After Divorce?

The hurt and disruption caused by a divorce can make you question whether there can be life after divorce. How can I pick up the pieces and how good will the quality of life be after a divorce?

The BFFLs and your kids

Texting has become the norm for many kids to communicate with each other. I have tried to join in but my texting skills leave a lot to be desired. Who decides that "wolf" should come up in T9word before "woke"? My daughter didn't know what on earth I was saying when i texted "I just wolf up".

All this brings me to BFFL or text shorthand for Best Friend For Life. (BFFL is pronounced biffel). I was recently introduced to some of my daughter's BFFLs when I took them to the mall.

I make the big mistake of thinking they were just friends and was quickly introduced to BFFLs. At 13, these girls are very chatty and the conversation hopped around from topic to topic.

In among the talk about makeup, fashion and the scandalous thing John texted to Kate yesterday, they talked about drugs, cutting and saying no to boys. I realised suddenly how important BFFLs are and how much they can help or hurt your kid. BFFLs with a value system similar to your own can really back up everything you are teaching your kid.

One of my daughter's friends has terrible trouble saying no to boys who text her, telling her they like her and asking her out. The BFFLs all banded together and supported her as she texted a boy who had sent her multiple texts telling her he liked her. She told him that "she just liked him as a friend". She told her friends that she felt mean doing that but they told her that if she didn't, she was sending "mixed messages" (as well as mixed texts!).

The level of maturity and support that I saw amazed me. These kids are dealing with very difficult moral and personal issues and supporting each other in making choices. Despite all the middle school madness of emotional bullying, rumor mongering and peer pressure, here was a group of BFFLs helping each other find the courage to make the hard choices.

Long live the BFFLs!

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