Women's Divorce Blog

Life After Divorce?

The hurt and disruption caused by a divorce can make you question whether there can be life after divorce. How can I pick up the pieces and how good will the quality of life be after a divorce?

Dating

  • Give yourself time before you start dating again
  • Make sure you have examined and learned from your past relationship
  • Know what you are looking for
  • Understand the issues of remarriage, blended families, step-parenting
  • Have fun!

You are ready now to date again.  You have gone through the grieving process and thought about the issues around moving on.

Goals of dating

Start by thinking what you want out of dating.

  • Are you going to just enjoy the dates without long-term commitment?
  • Do you wish to meet new people to make friends?
  • Are you interested in short term relationships?
  • Are you looking for a serious relationship?

Your answer to these questions determines your dating strategy.

Lets get real

Forget perfection. Dating can be an awkward experience for many people. They feel they have to be perfect. You have to say the right things, dress the right way, like the right things, drive the right car and so on. The truth is no one is perfect. Accept you are not perfect and neither are any of the people you are going to meet while dating. A good relationship is where you recognize the flaws in the other person and love them because of it.


Old patterns

Have you recognized any patterns to your dating up to now? We tend to repeat mistakes often because its a comfortable pattern even if that pattern is destructive. Look for those patterns and break out of them. If you have truly destructive patterns, think about getting professional help. A therapist can help you better understand these patterns and work with you to break those habits and help you lead a happier and more satisfying life.

Starting back to dating after divorce

You may have been out of the dating game for a long time and may not have ever thought you would be back dating again ever. You may not be looking forward to the dating process. Make sure you have thought about your motivations and goals for dating. Is your heart truly ready and are you properly motivated to date? A person going back to dating after a divorce actually has some advantages over never married singles.

You have experience with relationships, both the good and bad and hopefully an insight into what makes a good relationship and what you want out of a relationship. You have a more realistic idea of what a committed relationship is all about. You are more likely to be better established in your job, hobbies etc and more stable. Other than the addition of online dating, dating fundamentals have not changed. Even with online dating, the basics still apply.

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