- Concentrate on what you can control
- Create a list of choices
- Do a reality check
- Act on your plan for your new life
Moving on after divorce can be very difficult for many people. You have suffered major loss and have gone through the grieving process.
You are ready to move on
Firstly you do not have to rebuild the life you had previously. You now have the choice to create a new life, with new activities, friends and direction. The first step is to determine what you have control over and what you do not. Your divorce besides giving you freedom also creates legal obligations and so you need to accept those limitations. There may be choices you have made during the divorce process that also limit your control e.g. choosing to remain near the kids.
Concentrate on what you do have control over
- Brainstorm to create a list of choices. Brainstorming means you do not stop any thoughts no matter how silly they seem. Instead just pour everything out onto paper
- Review your thoughts
- Start prioritizing them.
- Research them and get yourself down to a few choices
- Take a break for a few days
- Review them with a fresh eye after a few days
- Create an action plan. An action plan should include what you have to do and when you are going to do it
- Discuss this with those whose advice you trust
- Now you should be ready to act on this
This process can be used to think about your career or your desired relationships among other choice. Take your time. This is not the time to be impulsive. Bouncing your ideas off people you trust gives your ideas a reality test.
Moving on after a divorce can launch you in a totally new and unexpected direction, full of life and excitement. Have the courage to pursue it to its fullest.