- Acknowledge what a difficult relative is saying (not agree)
- Invite positive support from relatives
- Be assertive with those that cross the line
- Be wary of remaining in contact with ex relatives
Your relatives can be wonderful sources of support and help during and after a divorce. On the other hand, they can also interfere, offer unwanted advice and tell you everything you are doing wrong.
- Try to acknowledge what they say without necessarily agreeing with them (often they just want to be heard)
- Try to get another relative to intervene for you
- Be assertive and talk to them directly but politely
Tell them while you appreciate that they are doing this out of the goodness of their heart but that you would like to live your life the way you see best and raise your child in the way you see fit. Also tell them that you would welcome their support.
Remaining in contact with your ex-relatives can be a tricky business. If your relationship is good with your ex and they do not resent it, then it may be fine. Make sure you are not remaining in contact to subconsciously hang onto your past relationship. Exchanging cards at holiday time is usually well tolerated.
The situation can get even trickier when an ex-relative chooses to remain in contact with you and condemns or even cuts off your ex. Now add your kid into that situation and if the ex-relative is only seeing the child through visiting you, your ex is going to be very upset and that will worsen your relationship with your ex.
Prioritize your relationship with your ex and your child above those other interactions. You both still have to parent your child.