When you are separated from your kids, it can be very painful and difficult. Here are some ideas to help handle this situation.
- Mark down holidays and birthdays on a calendar
- Make contact by sending a card, a present or making a phone call on those days
- Put your address and phone number on your letters so your kids can contact you
- Let your ex know when you expect to be in town well in advance and ask to make contact or remind them in advance if its in the divorce agreement
- If your kid has time with you during holidays, make them a priority for that time. That does not mean constantly entertaining them but simply being available to them.
- Understand that your kid may feel upset, angry, rejected and need time to connect with you.
- Don't push them but give them time to open up
In these days of Internet and cell phones, you should be able to keep in touch regularly. You may find it frustrating and upsetting at times but it is worth it.
If you now have other kids, either your own or step children, you need to keep your child by first marriage in touch with what's going on in your life and you in theirs. Your kid may feel like they are intruding or even resentful of your new family and you need to find ways to make them feel welcome without disrupting your new family life.