- Grieving is a natural process
- Permit yourself to feel the emotions but do not wallow
- Remain active even if you do not feel like it
- Get help if you are stuck
The end of relationships are naturally painful and difficult. We experience a serious loss not just of the other person but also of who we thought we were.
Often in a marriage, you will become a married person in your head, doing things married people do, having a routine and in time you define yourself or at least part of yourself in terms of being married. After the divorce, you have to grieve that lost part of yourself and redefine yourself.
The process of grieving
This is an emotional process not an intellectual one
- Allow yourself to feel the emotions
- Communicate the feelings e.g. journals, friends, professionals
- Do not overload yourself with responsibilities e.g. work
Lean on others as you need to in your support network
- If you have thoughts of harming yourself or are becoming very isolated, get professional help
Grieving after divorce
Grieving after divorce can often be confusing. Your ex partner is often still around and you may even still be in contact because of your kids or because of some unfinished business.
- Mourn the relationship
- Recognize that it is over
- Minimize interactions with your ex
- Do not listen to gossip or other information on your ex
- Recognize that you are now single again and start to take some action based on this