Women's Divorce Blog

Life After Divorce?

The hurt and disruption caused by a divorce can make you question whether there can be life after divorce. How can I pick up the pieces and how good will the quality of life be after a divorce?

Downsizing your home

  • Get renters insurance
  • Read your lease carefully
  • Check if pets are allowed
  • Plan for storage of extra possessions
  • Get rid of clutter

Moving to an apartment

  • Get renters insurance
  • Check your lease carefully before signing
  • Check to see if pets are allowed
  • Understand what you can do to decorate your apartment
  • Recognize that some noise will be inevitable
  • Know where your security deposit will be kept and how much interest it will get
  • Check for storage space

Insurance

While people living in houses have insurance covering the contents, many apartment owners do not have their possessions covered and surprise! they are not covered by the landlords insurance. Apartment insurance is relatively cheap and easy to get.

Lease

If renting, check your lease to see what you can and cannot do. Check to see what the landlords obligations are. Local towns may have laws regarding when heat has to be turned on, rules regarding rent control and noise ordinances.

Pets

If you have pets, make sure pets are allowed before you sign the lease. Anticipate that if you have children, you may want to get them a pet at a later date.

Decorating

Understand what you can and cannot do decorating your apartment. Some leases will restrict the colors of paint that can be used.  Some landlords may pay or split the cost especially if its an improvement to the apartment.


Noise

Understand that you will have close neighbors and some noise is just part of the territory. Also realize that the home theater setup you had in the basement complete with giant sub woofer is probably not going to work for your neighbors. Respect your neighbors and in general they will respect you.

Security deposit

Your landlord may be legally obligated to let you know each year where your security deposit is held and how much interest it has gained. Check your local laws regarding this.

Storage

Moving from a big space to a small one will mean you need storage space. Check to see how much is available.

Moving back in with family

A number of people move back in with their parents following a divorce. This provides them with a secure place to stay, with emotional support, time to recover, reduced expenses.

  • Do consider contributing in some way to the household e.g. money, helping out
  • Make sure everyone is clear and agreeable on how you are going to help out
  • Make sure you have some private space and agreement on it being private
  • Understand that your parents may still see you and treat you as if you were the kid that never left the house
  • Respect their home
  • Set up a goal linked to moving out of the house e.g promotion
  • Better yet set up a time line to moving out and living independently again

Moving back in with family can be difficult. It can lower your morale and self esteem. You may be still in the middle of emotions from the divorce which may not make you a very easy person to be around. Living so close to your family can lead to arguments and friction. Try to minimize this.

In a way, if you find it too comfortable living at home then there is less incentive to moving out and living independently again. Try to remain motivated Perhaps you never had to cook, clean, do laundry or go grocery shopping so now is the time to learn these skills. This can help you reach your goal of living independently.

Moving in with roommates

Having lived as part of a couple and now finding yourself having to move in with roommates can be difficult. You may not like the limits on independence and privacy this bring with it. On the other hand you may have dreams of partying all night and going wild.

  • Make sure you have some private space
  • Know that you will not get along with everyone all the time so have some tolerance
  • Try to respect the other people you live with and their needs
  • Set a goal and time line on moving out and living independently
  • Make sure you have a written agreement on rent and responsibilities

Clutter

If you have downsized, you may well have more possessions than you can store.

  • hold a garage sale
  • use Ebay or other online auction sites
  • donate to charity
  • use long term storage
  • consider distributing items to relatives

If you have downsized after your divorce, you may have moved some of your possessions to a long term storage location. Make sure these possessions are insured too.

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