Women's Divorce Blog

13 February 2019

Life After Divorce?

The hurt and disruption caused by a divorce can make you question whether there can be life after divorce. How can I pick up the pieces and how good will the quality of life be after a divorce?

The BFFLs and your kids

Texting has become the norm for many kids to communicate with each other. I have tried to join in but my texting skills leave a lot to be desired. Who decides that "wolf" should come up in T9word before "woke"? My daughter didn't know what on earth I was saying when i texted "I just wolf up".

All this brings me to BFFL or text shorthand for Best Friend For Life. (BFFL is pronounced biffel). I was recently introduced to some of my daughter's BFFLs when I took them to the mall.

I make the big mistake of thinking they were just friends and was quickly introduced to BFFLs. At 13, these girls are very chatty and the conversation hopped around from topic to topic.

In among the talk about makeup, fashion and the scandalous thing John texted to Kate yesterday, they talked about drugs, cutting and saying no to boys. I realised suddenly how important BFFLs are and how much they can help or hurt your kid. BFFLs with a value system similar to your own can really back up everything you are teaching your kid.

One of my daughter's friends has terrible trouble saying no to boys who text her, telling her they like her and asking her out. The BFFLs all banded together and supported her as she texted a boy who had sent her multiple texts telling her he liked her. She told him that "she just liked him as a friend". She told her friends that she felt mean doing that but they told her that if she didn't, she was sending "mixed messages" (as well as mixed texts!).

The level of maturity and support that I saw amazed me. These kids are dealing with very difficult moral and personal issues and supporting each other in making choices. Despite all the middle school madness of emotional bullying, rumor mongering and peer pressure, here was a group of BFFLs helping each other find the courage to make the hard choices.

Long live the BFFLs!

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