Now my daughter has entered her tweens, I have warned her it is my turn to embarrass her. When she was younger she used to embarrass me quite a bit.
When she was five, I dressed her up in her Sunday best and headed off to Mass. This is the really long mass a week before Easter. Of course she wouldn’t sit still through the long mass and i kept having to whisper and sign to her to be still. Eventually she had enough and when i whispered her to be quiet, she yelled “NO!” at the top of her voice. Unfortunately this also coincided with the priest asking “Do you renounce the devil and all his works?” Everyone turned to see the devil child and the priest stared down from the pulpit and yelled back “YES!”
I had to pick up my devil child and take the walk of shame down the aisle and out of the church. It took me a couple of weeks to pluck up the courage to return to that church. Being a single dad is interesting at times.
Now revenge is sweet. A tween sensitive to whether a father goes and stands outside her school so her friends see her getting picked up is an easy mark! The worm has turned.